When your dog has developed that little embarrassing problem (incontinence) that so many dog owners don’t want to discuss, it can be a huge life change as you and your dog adapt to living with the stress and requirements to keep an incontinent senior dog in good health and happiness.
I can only compare it to becoming a carer, like human carers caring for infirm or aging people. It can take a toll, and you may find yourself struggling emotionally.
Ways to Cope with the Emotional Strain of Caring for an Incontinent Senior Dog
The emotional strain of caring for what some people would consider “just a dog” when that beloved animal has been part of your life for years and now needs your supportive care can be extremely draining.
Here are a few ways to help survive the emotional strain and keep offering your beloved pet the best of you:
Acknowledge That Caring For An Incontinent Dog Can be Stressful
Because you fear people won’t understand why you are doing what you do for your dog, you may not admit to others or even to yourself that it’s stressful and places you under constant pressure. Strain and stress can only be alleviated if you recognize the signs and are prepared to take measures to look after your well-being.
Acknowledge that stress can be inevitable because of the daily routines and degenerative nature of incontinence, and take time off when needed. Ask a friend or family to help you during a rough day or week.
Take care of your own needs by engaging in self-care. Accept that you are doing the best you can. Your dog won’t resent you for having a nap or grounding in the garden while they have a roll on the lawn.
Manage Your Frustration
Caring for an elderly dog can come with frustration. It’s hard to explain to a dog to stay on their bed or pee pad while you fetch more products from the cupboard. Often, incontinence accompanies other degenerative conditions such as arthritis and hip dysplasia.
It is frustrating to turn around to find they have dripped on the rug again because they moved while you were busy changing their diapers or belly bands.
Breathing is an excellent way to manage frustration and stop that human reaction to get angry or lash out. Breathe in for four seconds, hold, then breathe out for four seconds and hold. Repeat as many times as needed. Sigh deeply if needed and inhale deeply, drawing in energy and will.
Consciously clench and unclench your fists, shaking out your fingers every third or fourth clench move. Being prepared by having wet wipes and other necessary products within easy reach when it is changing time can also help minimize your frustration.
Planning is your friend. Train your incontinent dog to work with you from the start. Positive reinforcement training can go a long way to help your dog to assist you as much as possible with their care.
Embracing Sorrow
Being a carer can often be rewarding but also a sorrowful task, whether for a human patient or an animal. The sorrow comes from seeing the daily struggle that the patient (aka your beloved aged dog) goes through. Dogs are emotive animals; your pet will pick up on your feelings and may become quite depressed if you can’t manage your sorrow.
You also become sad because you know there’s no “fix” for most causes of incontinence in dogs, especially elderly dogs. Everything else works fine, but they have this one problem they have to live with, and it’s up to you to help them manage as best you can.
Your memories of your pet in the youth of their life will become quite painful but also soothing. Remember why you are helping them in their infirmity. They are still the same pet you cuddled with when they were puppies.
When sorrow becomes too much, remember to live day by day. Yes, your time with them is growing shorter, but you have today, the next day, and the next.
Planning for Additional Care Needs
You may not consider the physical impact of caring for an aged incontinent dog. While small breed dogs can still be picked up and placed on a changing bed (like a human baby), a large breed dog will probably be changed on the floor, which entails bending, kneeling, and even restraining them when they don’t want to cooperate.
Don’t forget to care for yourself, or you might find caring for your beloved pet difficult. These all place strain on your own body. It becomes hard to remain hearty in your task when you are in pain.
Take time to stretch, wear appropriate clothes when working with your pet to support your knees and back, and ensure you protect yourself if your dog gets nippy when they are in pain or have a bad flare-up of inflammation that makes them extra grumpy.
Choose Your Vet Partner Carefully
Not all vets have a calming “bedside manner” when caring for elderly dogs. Nevertheless, most vets will be empathetic to your plight. When you have an emotionally supportive vet, it becomes easier to take your dog in for the extra checkups and additional meds they may need to feel better, even though it won’t necessarily heal them. The right vet will guide you, and when it comes to the final walk, they will be with you and your pet all the way.
The Final Feeling
From one carer to another, I applaud your courage and caring. It’s not an easy road, but you don’t walk it alone—there’s a set of paw prints next to your footprints.
Take care of yourself to ward off fatigue as you continue giving your best friend the best you can offer. Remember, you are both worth it.