It’s sad when we lose someone (including a beloved pet), and dealing with the process of grieving has been the topic of many psychology books. But what about animals? Oh sure, we have all seen sad images of dogs unwilling to leave the body of their deceased humans, but what about when a dog loses their companion dog or a member of their domesticated little pack?
We don’t always fully understand how dogs grieve, if they grieve, and what that grief is like for them. Yet, a sensitive owner will notice changes in their dog’s behavior and overall demeanor when the dog loses one of their friends (a fellow dog or another fur-bestie they’re attached to).
Let’s find out more about whether and how a dog grieves the loss of a dog companion.
Do Dogs Grieve the Loss of a Fellow Pet?
Do all dogs grieve the loss of a dog companion? It depends on the bond they had with the pet that passes, but all dogs are capable of experiencing grief.
Dogs are pack animals, and when you have more than one dog, your dogs will form a pack-like family with powerful bonds. If one of the dogs passes, the other dogs sense their pack has lost a member, which is sad to them.
Because dogs are so affectionate, they form strong bonds, and if those bonds are broken, it can be incredibly traumatic to them. Grieving is how a dog tries to make sense of their changed world and move forward.
Signs a Dog Is Grieving
The logical place to start to identify whether your dog is grieving after one of their close K9 companions have passed is to look at the signs your dog displays:
1. Loss of Interest
A grieving dog will lose interest in food, exercise, and any activities that previously got them excited. Much like a human grieves, when a dog grieves the loss of a companion, they become listless and depressed.
2. They’ll Sleep All the Time
Because of that depressive state, a dog that’s grieving will sleep all the time. When not sleeping, they’ll lie down in a dejected position. A grieving dog won’t stretch out and sleep comfortably.
3. Restlessness and Lack of Sleep
If a grieving dog doesn’t sleep a lot, they may sleep little to nothing. They are waiting for their companion to return, so they may constantly sit at the front door or pace the yard, hoping their fur-friend will come back.
This restless behavior will continue in all aspects of the dog’s life, and they may begin to dig, self-groom to the point of self-mutilation, and never sit or lie quietly. They are clearly anxious when they are so restless, and this can be heartbreaking to witness.
4. Sudden House Pottying
When an adult dog that’s fully potty trained suddenly begins to urinate or spot in the house, it can also be a manifestation of the trauma they feel over the loss of a companion. Reverting to juvenile behavior or developing incontinence can result from stress and trauma – especially in older dogs.
5. Change in Appetite
If your dog lost their fur-partner recently, they may stop eating or try to “eat for two.” Emotional eating is often caused by stress and trauma, even in dogs. Most often, this type of behavior goes paw-in-paw with lack of motivation, and a grieving dog may sulk and lie around all day, refusing to move, eat, or play.
6. Sudden Weight Loss
When a dog is grieving and stops eating, they may lose weight surprisingly quickly. If they eat out of stress, they may gain weight, which causes serious problems with joints, and the pain can cause depression.
Dogs that lose weight become depressed and lethargic because they lack energy, and it’s a painful condition as their bodies will turn to their own muscles and soft tissues for energy once their fat reserves run out.
7. Can’t Leave Them Alone
A grieving dog may refuse to be left alone. They start to cry, howl, and destroy things in their environment when they are left alone. If they are left at doggy daycare, they may snarl at other dogs, become aggressive, or simply lie in a corner and avoid any contact.
8. Searching for Their Lost Partner
In nature, dogs would usually have an opportunity to grieve over the body of a fallen partner. They may face the trauma of their dog companion being eaten by larger predators, but they know what’s happened, and they can grieve and then move on.
Domestic dogs often don’t see what has happened with their partner. Most often, they are left at home while the owner takes the aging or sick dog to a vet, where the dog is humanely euthanized. The surviving dog has no opportunity to grieve or accept the passing by having access to the body.
The resulting behavior is that the surviving dog seeks their partner. They look for the missing member of their pack. The tension and anxiety that this searching behavior brings can be overwhelming for both dog and owner.
Coping with Changing Dynamics at Home
When you have more than one dog and one of them passes, it can bring a massive shift in your home environment. Those who own several dogs may notice that each dog deals with their grief differently, and some dogs may change their personalities as the pack dynamics change.
Time and routines at home may also change because of a dog’s passing. If the dog had been ill or older (and therefore, required more hands-on care), their absence could bring sudden changes that may leave the surviving dog confused and stressed.
What Dogs Grieve About When Their Friends Die
When a dog’s friend passes, the dog grieves not just for the loss of their friend but also because they’ve lost the stable and secure home environment they had before the death. Your grief (which is natural) affects your dog, and they grieve your loss. Your grief affects them, and their world has suddenly changed.
Dogs (and all animals) thrive when they have a stable home environment where they can enjoy predictable events that they know they can deal with. Through it all, they know you are there to protect them. But now that you’re grieving, they suddenly feel unprotected, or worse, like they have to step up and protect you.
Steps to Help a Grieving Dog Heal
There are a few steps you can take to help your dog heal and process their grief. Each of these steps is unique, and it’s up to the grieving dog to decide which step or steps work for them.
Focus on Routine
Most animals, dogs included, will eventually find their paws if given enough time. To help them heal, use time to rebuild routines and familiarity, which dogs need to refocus and calm down.
Try taking them for a daily walk or spend at least half an hour a day playing with your dog. This time isn’t about new toys or fancy treats. Instead, it’s about building routines that are familiar each day so your dog knows what’s coming. With routines they can count on, your dog will feel things are familiar and safe.
Comfort Them
Spend time with your dog, helping them grieve. Sit with them, cry with them, and just hang out together. Both you and your dog have been through a trauma with the loss of a dear friend, and it will take you both some time to move forward.
Comfort your dog by grooming them, snuggling with them, and just being together. It’s important they know they aren’t alone.
Help Manage Their Physical Symptoms
When your dog’s physical symptoms of grieving have become overwhelming, it can be difficult for them to heal. Working with your vet, identify what physical symptoms are manifestations of grief, and plan how to handle these.
If your dog has decreased appetite, you can plan how to help stimulate their natural hunger, while sleeplessness can be managed with mild sedatives or tranquilizers. If they compulsively groom, you can consider topical management with shampoos, soothing body vests, and regular grooming.
When they feel better in their bodies, they will heal quicker and hopefully make a full recovery from grief.
Schedule Play Dates
Distraction can help your dog to move forward and not be so sad all the time. If they love going to the dog park, you can take them on regular play dates, where they can interact with other dogs and people and get mental and physical stimulation.
If dog parks aren’t an option, you can invite some friends over (whether they have dogs or not) to come and spend time with you and your dog. Breaking the loneliness is essential to helping your dog (and you) heal.
Soothe Seeking Behavior
Should your dog grieve by searching for their partner, they may engage in seeking behavior, which can fuel anxiety. Help them transition and be more restful by keeping an old blanket with the scent of the dog that passed on.
A good place to keep this is in the dog’s bed or near their favorite place to lie down. It gives the surviving dog an area where they can relax and feel like they’re not alone.
Use Training to Ease the Transition
Dogs thrive when their minds are occupied. Help your grieving dog refocus their attention by engaging in playful training. Consider fun activities like taking them for a walk, daily grooming, and using new toys to keep them busy.
The important thing is to use training as a way to spend time with them and help them find meaningful activities to engage in.
Don’t Project Your Pain onto Them
One of the best ways you can help your dog deal with grief is to deal with your own grief. You’ve just lost one of your dogs, and it hurts. Nothing takes that away, but your grief can become transferred to your remaining dog (or dogs), and it can cause them to suffer more than they should.
When you notice they seem sad or down, ask yourself if you’re not feeling that way, too. Perhaps your dog is mirroring your emotions. Work on your own grief so your dog can move forward in life.
There’s No Rush
It’s important to know that there’s no time frame on grief. Your dog may grieve the loss of their pur-friend for weeks, months, and even years. Your responsibility is to ensure they aren’t physically suffering or manifesting symptoms that affect their quality of life.
Be patient with your dog’s grief; don’t expect them to “get over it.”
Medically Manage Grief
In extreme cases, where your dog’s grief is overwhelming and threatens their health, it may become necessary to consult with your vet about how to medically manage their anxiety and depression. If your dog should become aggressive because of their anxiety, it’s highly recommended to consider veterinary help.
There are many antidepressants that can be prescribed for your dog to help them grieve; however, this shouldn’t be your first recourse.
Introduce a New Friend
Grief and loneliness aren’t a great combination, and if you notice your dog seems more lonely than upset, it could be time to look into getting them a friend. Of course, it’s never a snap decision to make when you consider getting another pet. And buying a puppy because you’ve just lost your dog isn’t necessarily the best way to deal with grief (yours or your dog’s).
It might be worth it to first arrange for your dog to play with another dog or pet to determine whether they are ready for a new companion. If you feel like this is being “unfaithful” to your dog that passed, think of it not as replacing them but rather as you and your remaining dog sharing all the love in your hearts with another fur-bestie.
Preparing for Grief and Helping a Dog Mourn Loss
When you know your dogs are codependent or highly attached, you can likely anticipate they may have a complicated grieving process if one of them needs to be euthanized. We may not always have a choice in when this sad day happens, but if your dog has been ill and you’ve reached the end of the road with treatment options, it creates the opportunity to help the grieving process in a natural way.
In nature, animals process death by spending some time with the body. This allows them to recognize their pack member has passed and won’t return. Dogs are often deprived of this natural grief mechanism, but you can discuss options regarding a home euthanasia or letting your other dog accompany their friend on their final vet visit.
There may be laws governing the disposal of pet remains in your state or country, so discuss this with your vet if you are considering a home burial. Taking the body home so your remaining dog or pets can say their farewells can also help solidify the acceptance of the dog’s passing.
How to Let Your Dog Grieve with the Body
Humans find death unsettling, and it can be challenging to let your surviving dog be with the body. Dogs and other animals have their own unique ways of being with the body. Some dogs will rush to lick the body, rub themselves against their passed friend, or try to play with them. This can be upsetting for the owner.
Prepare yourself for the process. It requires time, so don’t rush your dog to say goodbye, and don’t try to force them to “be with their friend.” Some dogs will try to avoid the body, instinctively fearing that death may claim them too. So don’t force them.
Give your dog time together. When your surviving dog comes to you and has lost interest in the remains, you can take it as a sign that they’ve said their farewells and are ready to leave. They may still grieve at home, but they’ve accepted the passing of their friend.
More Jack’s Dacks Articles
- Puppers and “Pawsioners” – Dog Walking Tips For a Young Dog and a Senior Dog
- 18 Signs of Aging in Dogs and What to Do in Each Case
- The Benefits of Adopting a Senior Dog
Final Farewells
Helping a dog grieve when their best friend has passed can be challenging, especially when you are also dealing with your own grief over the loss of your fur-bestie. To help your surviving dog is about being as objective as you can while ensuring your dog has support and security in this difficult time.
It’s best to follow these basic steps as you and your partner in grief come to terms with the loss of that special dog:
- Keep routines going.
- Find ways to distract and entertain your dog.
- Help them carry on and feel valued.
- Spend time with them as much as possible.
- Deal with the physical impact of grief.
Ensure your dog knows you are there for them and that you can carry your grief without laying it on them.